Sunday, 4 January 2009
How Do I Become A Success?
Is there a formula for personal success and if there is where do you find it? Once the penny of gullibility drops and you realise that there never was a direct correlation between hard work and success, or talent and success, then the hunt for something else starts.
Many of the Life Hacks that you bump into on the net are ken to persuade us that they have the magic approach, the correct mental attitude, the insight that has been secretly hidden from view until they came along to help.
I've just been reading some more grounded stuff from Kevin Hogan and Steven Reiss which looks at our fundamental human drives.
A key drive involves where you sit in relation to being Competitive or Co-operative. Their information about these two drives is very interesting, and crucial to answering the question 'how do I become a success'. This is because your success is as much about what people think of you as it about about what they think about themselves.
Many people lean towards helping others as the route to get on in life. The 'helpful gene' is buried deep in our DNA and has evolved to maximise immediate benefit by co-operating with potential adversaries. There is a problem with this though.
Competitive people who see themselves as 'Go getters', 'Top dogs', Winners, Hard Nosed, see co-operative people as failures, losers, lacking assertiveness. This means that if you try and ingratiate yourself with a competitive type they will simply regard you as weak. You will not benefit in any way from their success.
Being successful means standing up for yourself and what you believe. This should not be confused with selfishness. You can also use this information to influence and persuade people to buy into your ideas, buy your products or buy your services by checking what 'mode' they are in. If they come across as having a competitive attitude position yourself as competitive too, and show what you 'know, 'have' 'can do' will help them continue to win.
People succeed by looking after their interests first. This enables them to look after other people (should they choose) from a position of strength and abundance.