Saturday 5 April 2008

The Alternative UK Citizenship Test







The Exam setters for the UK Citizenship Test have been a bit gullible expecting that people wouldn't play the system by getting proxy's to sit the test for them. This does seem a case for the application of bio-metrics, however that costs alot of money and there are I'm sure more cost effective options.

I would go for a much more dynamic and localised test that takes its lead from the 'football hooligan's' trick of stopping someone and asking who plays left back for the local team to find out if you from 'around these parts'before they puch your lights out. Alot more low brow than Whitehall high brow and 100% more effective.

My question suggestions would be:

1. Where is Acacia Avenue?

2. If your bus is late how many buses do you expect to arrive in the next 10 minutes?

3. It is rush hour how many coaches would you put on the commuter train a)1 b)2

4. What colour is Noddy's hat?

5. How far would you walk to 'go all around the Wrekin'?

6. Why is there only one lake in the Lake District?

7. Where is Stilton Cheese made?

9. Why are Public Conveniences neither Public or Convenient?

10. What materials are used to build Fish and Chip shops?

Additions gratefully received, they will then be forwarded to The UK Border and Immigration Agency

3 comments:

  1. Excellent questions RR!

    Can I add a few?

    Have you seen the man on the Clapham omnibus?

    If you saw a sparrow in the garden would you a) feed it or b) shoot it?

    If you saw a rat in the garden would you a) feed it or b) shoot it?

    Who is Churchill?

    a) a famous British Prime Minister or
    b) the dog off the advert?

    Obviously, if you are under 25 and British the correct answer to the last question is b.

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  2. Nice one Daisy :) good material for another poll.

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